No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
