i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
