All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
