I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize