It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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