How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
