I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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