there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
