Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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