What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
