I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
