: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
