We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
