very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
