Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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