She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
