opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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