bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
