im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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