He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
