My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
