I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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