this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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