That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
