how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
