you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
