I must be too annoying 4 u.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
