hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
