a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize