How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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