okay pat passed out under dana's car
wanna go halves on a baby?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We need to rekindle our bromance
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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