So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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