I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
