You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
