Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
