I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
