I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
