i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
