I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
