Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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