Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
