Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
