As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just found puke in my bra..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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