help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
