My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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