dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize