I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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