Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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