what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
