I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize