So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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