Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
