She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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