like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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