I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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