i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize