Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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