i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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