i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i believe in u and ur pee
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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