I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
