I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize