nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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