Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
soo... how was my night?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
