I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize