If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
