census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
