Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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