I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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