Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
