he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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