we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
