dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
