That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize