Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
