I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
