I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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