Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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