I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
